Merry Christmas poor and content folks!
The gang on my wifes side come today and then another shabang on sat with my family.Its been rough getting it together this year .Wendi (my wife) and I have been working like crazy trying to find time to enjoy it at all .We dont believe in falling into rushing all over just to be crazy up to the last minute.So we take our time.
I need to explain that when I said I wasnt Christian its really because I cannot and will not just follow something I truly havent studied.Did church and Sunday school but was told to and at about 13 I just thought there must be more.
At any rate I celebrate Love and rebirth at the holidays the Christian way is to celebrate the birth of Christ.What better way to celebrate than the greatest love that comes with the birth of a child,nothing is more pure and or sacred.
In easier terms the holidays are about love and sharing in a much more open fashion and that suits me fine.We all need compassion and love every day.........Get out there and show them all how much your heart believes in them and that you are at their service each and every day.
May the beauty of the season live in your heart and give you the strength to love without condition.
Happy Holidays to all.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Friday, December 13, 2013
My depression is lifting ,still working like crazy and retail is still a completely
ironic (and moronic).I try not to judge ,I work at an upscale department
store and when people come in buying 400 dollar shoes over and over
(yes they are addicted)I cant help but wonder the good it could do for somebody
in need.......maybe they donate too.But the rate they spend money on "things"
just kinda gives me the creeps.
Oh well,at any rate things are coming along and it helps that my wife is not into all the rushing and "crazy" people put themselves under.
We enjoy the time before the holidays so much,quiet nights of beautiful lights and music and a good dinner is all we need to make us happy.
The last 2 years we didnt finish decorating the tree till the night before.....not out of laziness(we really loved it with just lights for a while)but I refuse to think I "have"to get EVERYTHING done on some kind of schedule The holidays are a time of love that brings even the most intolerant people a reason to say I love you to someone.Sad that it takes that but at least for a short time people are a little more demonstrative.
I am not a christian......I dont beleive christ is my savior.There were too many teachers and great leaders in other religions that cannot be dismissed.
But all of them say the same thing,have love and compassion.Confucius coined the golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated 500 years before Christ.None of this matters,as long as you can find a way to realize you are not at the steering wheel and know that something divine that nobody has the answer to is guiding us to love and peacefulness if we choose to practice what should be inherent ,but it takes time.
Push on poor folk ,the holiday may be bright after all.
ironic (and moronic).I try not to judge ,I work at an upscale department
store and when people come in buying 400 dollar shoes over and over
(yes they are addicted)I cant help but wonder the good it could do for somebody
in need.......maybe they donate too.But the rate they spend money on "things"
just kinda gives me the creeps.
Oh well,at any rate things are coming along and it helps that my wife is not into all the rushing and "crazy" people put themselves under.
We enjoy the time before the holidays so much,quiet nights of beautiful lights and music and a good dinner is all we need to make us happy.
The last 2 years we didnt finish decorating the tree till the night before.....not out of laziness(we really loved it with just lights for a while)but I refuse to think I "have"to get EVERYTHING done on some kind of schedule The holidays are a time of love that brings even the most intolerant people a reason to say I love you to someone.Sad that it takes that but at least for a short time people are a little more demonstrative.
I am not a christian......I dont beleive christ is my savior.There were too many teachers and great leaders in other religions that cannot be dismissed.
But all of them say the same thing,have love and compassion.Confucius coined the golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated 500 years before Christ.None of this matters,as long as you can find a way to realize you are not at the steering wheel and know that something divine that nobody has the answer to is guiding us to love and peacefulness if we choose to practice what should be inherent ,but it takes time.
Push on poor folk ,the holiday may be bright after all.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
I am failing miserably this year trying to get through the holidays.My work load has increased so dramatically and my schedule is screwed because of having to work saturdays all month.So getting enough rest is impossible.
How many of you feel pressure from the people in your life to "be happy,its the holidays".It is so difficult when people expect.
Since I started retail (absurd,for this non-consumer)I have become more and more depressed .Im really walking a fine line the last few days .Trying so hard to find my gratitude and find a way to stand the ridiculously huge way we celebrate.
I would love to return to the long ago Christmases,when people celebrated for a day not a whole 2
months.My grandma used to tell of holidays that were easy and simple and most of it was based in the gathering of loved ones and having wonderful food.And when she was married (to a grandpa I never met as he died when I was a year old) they did what they could and that was enough.I miss her so much and shes been gone for 22 years.
But right now I need my dad so much.He died 18 years ago and is probably the only person that could understand this twisted up sad ,awful crap Im feeling.He was a very simple person and I followed right in his footsteps appreciating the things in life that come without fanfare.Sitting still on a day off(while my mother fumed not realizing what demanding physical labor even means)enjoying food,resting.And if my mother is reading this,she will no doubt think "what about his drinking?"Drinking is a giant problem in my family and I will write many blogs about it later, Myself and several family members have struggled and my brother died of it even though it was a suicide it stemmed from the alcoholism and what I believe was manic depression.I have been getting sober for 24 years.I wasnt the classic crazy drunk people cant stand (I have several in my life right now)I simply could not sleep anymore,saw a therapist and realized the alcohol had turned on me and started to agitate instead of medicate.I am chronic which is way easier because now if I were to drink I would be sick immediately.People need to educate themselves alcohol is by far the worst thing you can do to your body besides smoking.Im not talking about a drink or two.But lets be honest most people have way more than that and much more often than they would ever admit.Geez if we had not made pot such a bad thing we would of been way better off relaxing,laughing and going to bed.Legalize please.By the way pot smoke is not even close to having the carcinogens off cigarettes.Educate yourself folks.
Today is the town Christmas parade.People will come here for food after.I have grown so tired of it over the years,and Im completely not into another gathering (geez,we just saw them all a week ago thanksgiving .)
I am up very early and will cook later.Want some t.v. and super soul sunday to help rise this broken spirit of a man these days.But I wont give up,I will try to remain in a calm place and be grateful.I love them all and love tradition,its just been a super rough year.My poor wife has to suffer my rage at all things silly and its not fair and I work on trying to shut up and listen before I open my mouth and say something so awful nobody could compete with it..In my family we learned good how to eat someone alive w/words.It still goes on and I find myself more disgusted all the time.But seeing that will drive me to practice what I know Im here for, and that is to care for others,love is the only way out.
How many of you feel pressure from the people in your life to "be happy,its the holidays".It is so difficult when people expect.
Since I started retail (absurd,for this non-consumer)I have become more and more depressed .Im really walking a fine line the last few days .Trying so hard to find my gratitude and find a way to stand the ridiculously huge way we celebrate.
I would love to return to the long ago Christmases,when people celebrated for a day not a whole 2
months.My grandma used to tell of holidays that were easy and simple and most of it was based in the gathering of loved ones and having wonderful food.And when she was married (to a grandpa I never met as he died when I was a year old) they did what they could and that was enough.I miss her so much and shes been gone for 22 years.
But right now I need my dad so much.He died 18 years ago and is probably the only person that could understand this twisted up sad ,awful crap Im feeling.He was a very simple person and I followed right in his footsteps appreciating the things in life that come without fanfare.Sitting still on a day off(while my mother fumed not realizing what demanding physical labor even means)enjoying food,resting.And if my mother is reading this,she will no doubt think "what about his drinking?"Drinking is a giant problem in my family and I will write many blogs about it later, Myself and several family members have struggled and my brother died of it even though it was a suicide it stemmed from the alcoholism and what I believe was manic depression.I have been getting sober for 24 years.I wasnt the classic crazy drunk people cant stand (I have several in my life right now)I simply could not sleep anymore,saw a therapist and realized the alcohol had turned on me and started to agitate instead of medicate.I am chronic which is way easier because now if I were to drink I would be sick immediately.People need to educate themselves alcohol is by far the worst thing you can do to your body besides smoking.Im not talking about a drink or two.But lets be honest most people have way more than that and much more often than they would ever admit.Geez if we had not made pot such a bad thing we would of been way better off relaxing,laughing and going to bed.Legalize please.By the way pot smoke is not even close to having the carcinogens off cigarettes.Educate yourself folks.
Today is the town Christmas parade.People will come here for food after.I have grown so tired of it over the years,and Im completely not into another gathering (geez,we just saw them all a week ago thanksgiving .)
I am up very early and will cook later.Want some t.v. and super soul sunday to help rise this broken spirit of a man these days.But I wont give up,I will try to remain in a calm place and be grateful.I love them all and love tradition,its just been a super rough year.My poor wife has to suffer my rage at all things silly and its not fair and I work on trying to shut up and listen before I open my mouth and say something so awful nobody could compete with it..In my family we learned good how to eat someone alive w/words.It still goes on and I find myself more disgusted all the time.But seeing that will drive me to practice what I know Im here for, and that is to care for others,love is the only way out.
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