Change

This morning I'm up early and just finished watching an interview with Pema Chodron,a Buddhist nun,it made me feel supported in my need for change in my life.
We ever evolve and I believe many get caught in an existence of doing as best I can financially and that will make me feel better.Or doing everything for everybody else because if they are all happy then I will be too.I am at the end of my career in retail.It really has come down to the breakdown of my body and not willing to suffer injury for so little(been to a Dr.twice in 2 months for mishaps)So change is coming after the first of the year.
My biggest regret is that I will be bombarded by people (family)freaking and saying all the b.s. cliches and the doing things we "have to do".One of my favorite quotes was hanging in my office years ago at a good job that said"I dont "have"to do anything" by Lillian Hellman.
It all comes down to money which pisses me off of course.......in the end since my insurance is so high I bring home maybe 160 a week..........ridiculous.
So I will rise and move forward,we have to continue to move forward and allow inner thoughts and whispers to guide us.It doesnt have to be this huge thing..........I ,as many people I have studied, believe I have everything I need as a human,therefor I am capable of ..........I wont say "anything"(i will never sing like Aretha Franklin)but my capabilities are endless in so many areas and Im awake and ready for all of it.
The holidays are here as far as work is concerned ...big time.....this silly place I live is all about things and stuff and looking fabulous.........I love my home and I can scoot around town from my location so I dont have to see the self proclaimed "elite"and their "me first"crap.In my snootarama town it is legal to turn on red for left turns,you dont ever use signals,you pull out no matter what the speed the car coming towards you is going....but most of all I say "hello"to everyone and very few even look....sad.
But today is a day off with my lovely other half and believe it or not we are way ahead on christmas shopping(yes I will miss the store discount!)
But coming this week I cook for a big bunch.I afford it by in-laws buying turkey and people bring dessert so last year my whole bill was 15.00.And my mother said it was the best stuffing she ever put in her mouth!That is hilarious as I literally threw it together and have added sausage for several years with great success .
Remember poorandcontenters at holiday time it is essential to watch food prices and get holiday prep foods for cheap....if you dont cook.......learn.It is the most cost effective way to eat healthy food.
I started cooking at 14 for my sister and father when my mom went back to work.My father ate some interesting things for a while.......never complained...ate like a horse.....but i got great at it....you dont have to be great at it to make good tasting meals.Start trying to cook ,follow directions........etc,And if you can cook teach it to a young person.....a skill that brings people together and makes happiness.(and cheap)
Enjoy your day and remember that "you" are enough,without any money,degree,home,whatever you think you "should" have.Happiness is fleeting...content is endless,live this moment and reject the projection of the future,we have no certainty ..ever.....when I remember this it makes me honor today so much more.