Poor and Poorer............

Ever since my father-inlaw passed the summer has fallen into a cavern of sad and depressed that try as I might I cant seem to lift.My poor tuckered out wife has gone to Montana with her family (their treat).I am hoping to get things done around here and have done some already.
I think the hardest thing right now is the financial......which in turn just heaps on more stress and depression on top of the greif.We have money woes that linger and make one feel inept when one cant find a decent job or even an interview(every once in a while I get one!)
I have done the route of  working a crummy job just to have insurance .....what was left over was less than five hundred a month!And of course if I am forced to I will work another crap job.Very hard at the age of 55 to have to find work.........not so much for white collar......but for those of us who have worked blue collar jobs to reach a place in their company where they were all set and have it taken away has been devastating.
What to do?
During the fourth of July I worked for a fireworks booth that paid cash.Nice,until the end when I had misunderstood that they were paying me less per hour because it was my first year!What?......hello folks but it aint brain surgery and my partner and I at our booth were sold out except for afew roman candles.
They paid me more.....but still not what I thought.
The mix of people was so interesting to me.I worked with a lot of middle east people and it was an education for me in so many ways.
I also worked with people as poor and poorer than me.Some were rough exteriored and worn looking on the outside,but some of the struggles they had been through were so sad to me that I thanked my lucky stars each night that even tho I was struggling harder than ever I still have a  wife and a life thats safe.Some of them lived in scary areas and one evening I was treated to seeing gun and knife wounds they had......just for being where they shoudnt be at the time.It was normal to them.
Its odd to me as I grow older what people find to be success in life.I have talked about this before.The area I live in is the new wealthy,(they dont really have money)They do to a degree.....but certainly have to work way to much to keep it all up.Thus you see many fab mini mansions standing blank and alone and seemingly uninhabited as mom and dad are working at their power jobs and their kids are dropped somewhere.

I have had the experience of being around "old" money and the people that keep making it.It has been fun to educate people about the fact that people that truly have money are not hung up about it because they appreciate it and its great convenience.Yes,Mr Poor and Content has hung with the very rich and find them not to be what people fantasize.Its just not what people think.(this does not mean I dont wish to try it!)

I need to stop the worry,its very hard not to ,but the longer I live the more I know there is just right now, and there is nothing else.I can plan and scheme and do what I have to.....but in the end I always know this trail was given to me by something much bigger than me and worrying or mistrusting it may be wrong.
Meditations of love and compassion to all that are struggling be it financial,emotional,or whatever the case may be.We are all the same......why do we try so hard to stand apart......thats a lonely place.