What You Can Suffer

I am in the horrible grip of another ridiculous decision about taking a job or not.This is at least a cook job,but the interview was the oddest I have ever experienced.
A very young quiet chef who has worked 6 months in eldercare.
I am so tired of facilities putting on shows for residents families.I basically ran the interview as I am 30 years older than he is.And he basically just sat there and asked nothing(hadnt checked refs etc.what?)
I have seen this look before......Chefs get positions to glamorize these places and so many have no eldercare experience.
I am not judging the job.....when I lost my great job at a large facility I had been through 5 chefs in 6 years because they expect something altogether different.Its food performance art in a way and that dreaded ego is always involved.
I have seen amazing chefs that want for the elders and care for them in the fashion they should be treated,but it is rare.
When you work in a facility it is of utmost import to become part of their community.....it is their home and quite frankly you are a guest paid to work there with their thousands of dollars a month holding up your check.
Part of me wants to do it,its a brand new facility open only 6 months.......but the bad part is first basically no money after insurance and I have a tendency to take over (and they let me)and then I get no money or credit for it.Because Im not a chef,...nor do I want to be.But I know what elders want to eat more than anything is plain good homestyle food.
I used to take the Chef special down on wknds when a particularly bad chef and man was there for a short time and redo it and sell out...........eventually I got in a heated exchange with him when he discovered it but
god love my managers...they saw the numbers.Again ,its not their fault,they just dont understand not wanting nuts,berries or whatever all over their pork loin,they much prefer super tender loin with basic brown gravy with maybe mushrooms(teeth can be a problem at 90!
I am struggling so much because it really is exactly what I was making before at the stupid shoe job.It really makes me angry that lifetime cooks (and supervisors like me) are treated like first timers in pay.When are we going to have a living wage here again?And does not twenty years of feeding these folks mean anything?
Bad luck,all the time,and everyday lately and I am overwhelmed.
But I am trying to stay in this very moment as opposed to projecting.....but my fire is burning out and I am so exhausted from worrying for the last 6 years.....I have to breathe ,stop ,and be.
So very difficult.